Zero Beer Tokens: A modern Day Jesus, Bondi Hip-Thrusting and the World’s Worst Sailor

Fuck a Duck! That was close. On New Years Eve I officially had my 101st beer token meaning that I successfully smashed the back out of my New Years Resolution for 2016!

The best part about this is I now have 80+ legends who have signed up to do it with me this year!

I purposely grew my hair long, pubey salad beard and lost weight through December to look like Jesus, now I feel like him!

Just kidding, that’s ridiculous - he’s made up.

Got a few spots left so if you’re still umming and arrring feel free to get amongst at

Before we get into your favourite monthly learnings, here are my final stats for the year:

And now for the final Key Learnings for the year. I give you December Berries:

Italy e’ Bangeniola

I’ve been before but it’s such a great country I have to give you a quick rundown this time. I went to Milan (great if you like a visiting a giant shopping centre — one super rad castle and some delicious sandwiches).

But Turin was easily the feature. I love to just stroll new cities and this one was magic for no particular reason, it just was.

Made more so because I got to play up with one of my best buddies. I think based on our gnarlyness I got him to signup for tokens 2017. I took this photo on my first Italian token belter and turned it into his poster:

A fitting way to finish my galavant around Europe with a fucked up token hangover and 35 hours in transit. Some key learnings, like don’t get smeshed before long-haul flights you will never learn.

Home Coming Christmas and the balanced token

I had to throw this video in because if there’s a way to use a token, it’s getting into your christmas dickies and throwing a frisbee at a girl with a camera.

But it’s not all Christmas pickled: In the morning I was wholesome and went for a long surf at home on the Central Coast. Followed by a healthy breakfast and some work on my business on the train down.

In the afternoon that was long forgotten as we launched into pretty much the same party we went to 10 years ago when we were at Uni. Super fun day with a great bunch of people getting lairy.

I’ve said it before but exercise in the morning fires you up for an epic token session. Voila!

Coming home with a ‘Busted’ Sail

I once fabricated my way into getting hired on a super-yacht in the Caribbean. Safe to say I learnt nothing about actual sailing in this time and here I was; being dared to take control of my mate Moose’s yacht.

It was New Years Eve and the boys don’t reckon you could fuck up a course harder if you took acid before a HSC exam.

Luckily, after everyone giving me heaps of shit, one of the actual sailors grabbed the helm and we rectified the situation; back on track and our way to The Newport Arms for NYE celebrations.

Pretty sure the 6 million girls in the establishment saw me bottle it from the shore, because I didn’t even get close to a midnight countdown disco pash.

Writing Daily Writing.

I challenged myself this month to try and write something everyday. I did so. Was most of it shit? Probably, but that’s not the point. I’ve got an article on the way very soon relating to the history of sperms, watch this space.

I ended up with £150 being my most expensive night. So my monthly tally for failure was x13 = £1950 to charity.

Thing is, I didn’t go over 101 so I technically owe nothing. But what I’ve planned to do is help my 80+ team members with their fundraising this year and also raise 2.5k myself :D

So thanks for reading over the year. 2017 will be more about the other guys doing this with me and what they’re learning. This means semi-seriously and their mis-adventures and escapades.

Tokens 4 lyf. Peace!

  • December Stats: 1 complete challenge, 10 Drinking Sessions. 10/10 tokens worth it. £750 spent in total.

…For the other stories, triumphs and findings see below:













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