\Image by Dalle + the Author

The One Thing worse than waking up thinking… What did I do last night?

Benny Wallington - Vice Optimist
4 min readMar 22, 2024

My book editor told me he had p!ssed on his girlfriend.
Well, not in those words.

He was editing a chapter and left a comment where I’d written I’d been drunk, passed out in bed, and whizzed on multiple girlfriends lying next me.

His comment was, ‘Glad to hear I’m not the only one.’

This is the one thing worse than waking up thinking, ‘What did I do last night?’

It’s, waking up thinking, ‘What did I do last night?’ in a bed full of your own wee.’

I remember the first time I found out other adult men p!ssed themselves after drinking too much.

I was working in Western Australia in my 20’s and standing outside a donga (slang for cabins, usually made out of shipping containers) listening to my buddy tell a story.

The weekend before we’d been invited to a party at a friend’s friend’s place. She was the PA for one of the big bosses of a big mining company.

He was out of town so she was minding his place.

We barely drank while we were out there.

Mostly because we were there to save money and the pubs had pretty rough reputations.



Benny Wallington - Vice Optimist

I write about our favourite things that can kill us 🍻 📺 🍕📱and other things of beauty...