There’s no place like it.
Probably because it’s a body(several) of water and not really a place.
Even with the debris in the water, a foreign word for foreign objects that may find themselves stuck in my Boardeaxs (French Boardies like promiscuous French women).
A swimmer in my surfclub thought he saw a shark last week.
……Turned out it was a fuge* log with a pointy branch.
The irony of this is that if a log gets picked up by a wave and that pointy end spears you through the stomach, the irony disappears, nobody cares; they’re simply both fucked ways to get injured.
And I’m sure you’re more likely to get hit by a branch than a shark.
‘hit vs attack.’
That’s worth spending some time on…
We don’t say he got ‘attacked by a car.’
Because at this point the car isn’t conscious.
But what happens when we start being attacked by logs!
In fairness, if I were a log, most likely from the hurricane that smashed Fiji, I’d possibly be lining up some cunts in Australia for lack of shits given when it comes to the trajectory we’re heading based on our climate inaction.
(Long sentence ‘Inhale!’ you deserved it)
And here I am making a wild assumption that someone is going to get a little angry about that paragraph, either for the words or how long the sentence was.
To which I say ‘EAD.’
Which is still among other things, my favourite WiFi name.
For those playing at home it’s:
Eat A Debris.
Streams of consciousness that flow from streams, to rivers, to lakes, to rivers, to the ocean and into my consciousness — wherever that fucken thing lives.
I just got out of the surf and I’m proud to say I dodged a plethora of debris, sharks and French promiscuous women.
What a time to be alive!
*’FUCKING-HUGE’ Prounounced Feeyuge!
Dedicated to my buddy Ryan who got stung by a stingray this morning. Word has it that the froth levels in his blood repelled the poison and he is back to stable-ripping already.