92 Beer Tokens- No Porn but Willington rides again!
Well what a month February was. I managed to keep my drinking sessions to once a week but well and truly got White Girl Willington Wasted 50% of those times. All the while almost abstaining from watching porn! Am I learning anything from this? Let’s drill deeper…
Also, why am I doing this is? — *rules for 101 beer tokens Click here
Yes it was a good month for me and I do actually see the blah blah blah, without further ah do! Here’s February’s learnings:
- Because I do the token game and my friends and work colleagues understand and accept it now, I’m not seen as a standard ‘guy who gets pissed all the time’ like I have been my whole life. So the pressure isn’t there to drink which has made it a lot easier.
- My mental state toward needing beers or wine after a long day at work has dropped considerably. However, this not to say I don’t get an urge. Like on a free beer Friday and we’ve got pizza + Fifa on the big screen at work. Hmmmmmm.
Willington and The Two Belters
- So my two token fails were for my friend Lozfish’s 30th Birthday and a free tequila cocktail night where I got, what my friends refer to as ‘Willington Drunk’. Willington is my evil alter-ego. I could tell you more about him or you might meet him on a token night if you’re lucky, but let’s just say he was born from a Stanford NFL match + tail-gate + Security + Police and a trip to the hospital in neck brace :D
- And what did Willington do this time? — At Lozfish’s 30th Willington gave a bar girl his number at a nice family-style pub in South London while watching the rugby. Willington was on, then scotch, a million pints, blackout, lost wallet, ruined blazer, bruised hip and no phone call the next day from said pub babe… How old am I?
- Plus you tend to lose brand new clothing on Token Nights, as was the case on the Tequila night. Earlier that day I had bought a sweet new scarf which I’ve never done before, it’s not my thing. However, it was looking dapper AF but due to my black out, is now round the neck of some prick in Mayfair, never to be seen again. Lesson learnt — don’t buy expensive scarves and wear them on token nights to places that are the most expensive place on the Monopoly board — You’re gonna have a bad time!
- Finally, there was one win, as I’ve always known that moderate Sunday drinking is the best there is. Combine this with live football (Tottenham v Palace) and you can’t lose. Not even your scarf or your dignity. Successful Token day!
Token Days Off — Drink Less, Live More
(The things you do instead of drinking are ALMOST the most important things you learn)
Go and do some mentoring for a day: I was supposed to go out drinking with friends for the football match the night before visiting my old college in Brixton. I consciously avoided the boozer, so I didn’t smell like a Fosters brewery while giving advice to the students. Even if you’re a ripping triangle player, find someone who needs help and do that instead of a night on the wine.
THE PORN CHALLENGE
I decided last month to turn up the stakes on this stoic experiment and in Feb I gave up porn. So what happened:
- I thought it would spur me on to getting back into dating. It didn’t and the girl drought continues. But this might be down to the fact I’m crushing 16 hour+ day and working weekends.
- Lack of birds should have been the optimum time to increase my porn watching but safe to say I abstained, except:
- On the third night in it was 1230AM and I went into auto-mode or Porno-Pilot as we say in the industry. The following morning I realised the horrible mess of a crime I’d committed. The consequence: I’ve failed Feb’s challenge even though this was the only time I slipped and persevered to not watch it again till the end. So my charitable donation will now be x5 instead of x4 of my most expensive night should I break the 101 beer token limit. This is a cool £475 to charity.
- For those wondering more about what I learnt from nil porn: I’m from the generation where you had to run an illegal sandpit magazine porno racket at your primary school to get a cost effective fix, so kids these days will never know what it’s like to be without it. Thus it was good to go back to using the old brainbox. All in all you think about sex less, but find ways to get creative ;)
Also:
- My chocolate intake increased substantially to the point where I could make myself sick on too many cupcakes and Oreos.
So:
- Now I’m abstaining from chocolate for my March challenge and it’s already fucken’ shit! So far I’ve unwrapped two chocolate bars and remembered just before they hit the lips. I also wandered into the shops today and stood in front of my favourite isle just gazing at them (like I used to as an 11 year old when reading Hustler between an Inside Sport mag). I know I can do this!!! But my late night belted emergency snickers from the off license may undo me on this one.
February Stats: 1 failed challenge, 4 Drinking Sessions. 2/4 worth it. £203 spent in total.
…For the other stories, triumphs and findings see below:
THE BEGINNING
JAN
